


True Loves Kiss

by SeaweedRain



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: AU, F/M, Inspired by Shrek (Movies), M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:40:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26299552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeaweedRain/pseuds/SeaweedRain
Summary: This story is completely based off of the Shrek movie. Alastor (and his annoying sidekick that he didn't want tagging along, Angel Dust) must save princess Charlotte from the tallest room in the tallest tower for Lord Seviathan to marry, but of course, things don't go as planned.
Relationships: Alastor/Charlie Magne, Angel Dust/Husk (Hazbin Hotel)
Comments: 30
Kudos: 94





	1. The Start Of A Fairytale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I made a post about this on Tumblr because I had never seen a Shrek AU post for charlastor and I felt like it fit them pretty well- grumpy unwanted, strong, scary demon with a chipper badass princess. It got quite a bit of notes and inspired me to write this! I do hope you enjoy!
> 
> I would also like to thank charliesradiodemon and insideofeverysingledemonisalostcause from tumblr for giving me some suggestions in reblogs and notes and who are the ones that inspired me to make my silly late night idea into a reality that is this fic. Thank you!
> 
> 9/17/20 Note Edit- I was scrolling through the ship tag on tumblr and came upon this post I saw a while ago actually and just forgot about it! I wasn't thinking of this persons art when I came up with the AU because I actually came up with it while watching YouTube videos on Shrek, but I wouldn't be surprised if in the back of my mind this somehow helped spark the inspiration so I'm going to link it here too. https://miyuki129.tumblr.com/post/623942457907953665/dinner-with-the-magne-royal-family

A deep inhale before a slow exhale, fresh air filtering through his lungs as the demon sat outside. In one hand, over his crossed legs, sat a cup of coffee, almost finished. In the other, a book was perched open, his eyes glued to the pages of the ridiculous fairy tale. In a land of demons and royalty, were fairy tales even needed? The man chuckled at the thought. He had taken the item from one of the sad women that had passed by, meeting her end the moment her scared eyes made contact with his soulless ones.

Part of him debated on why he was even reading it. It was clearly a story for a child, most likely a gift to a niece or nephew or even her own children- he decided not to think too much about it. Alastor wasn’t one to think too hard about his meals and their lives before.

”Laughable.” He breathed, eyes scanning the pages that made time pass by. There wasn’t anything else to do around here anyways.

Red eyes stopped upon flipping to the next page- the most ridiculous part of all: _True loves kiss._ A scoff escaped him as he snapped the book shut. He couldn’t stand to look at the illustration that seemed to fill all the little kids hearts with joy with the predictable ending. The demon never understood how people could believe in these stories and fall for the fake happiness that came out of royal marriages. He never craved that sort of thing, not even as a child. He never wanted to be the handsome knight to get the beautiful dame wrapped up in his arms, a hanky bestowed upon him as an item of gratitude or an even greater gift of a kiss for his service to her- that was never what he wanted.

Even if he did. That sort of thing would never even be possible. In this world, there was a large separation. He was a demon in a human world. Everyone wanted him dead. Alastor was fine with this, as a child he came to the conclusion quite early in his life that he would most likely never reach the happiness that a human would, so why not seek the rush of adrenaline elsewhere?

Scaring folks. Broadcasting their deaths live to any human or demon near to give them quite a show!

Throwing the book aside, his eyes trailed to the alligators that swam around nearby. The only creatures he could withstand. They had a connection, they were feared, and ate the same foods. The smile that always remained on his lips grew wider as the demon stared at the large beasts.

Once again, he would take a deep breath of the swampy air around him, enjoying the scent of home as the sun danced against his skin. With the last sip of his black, bitter coffee, Alastor stood up from his seat and turned once again towards the creatures floating nearby. “Want some leftovers, boys?” He didn’t even need a reply even if the creatures couldn’t verbally give one, the demon already knew the answer.

Slowly making his way to his house, the man couldn’t help but take his time observing it, wondering if any repairs needed to be made. He was young when he had to go live out on his own, his darling mother who he loved so much had vanished and Alastor had a hunch on what had happened. It wasn’t hard deciding not to live where they had before, wanting to move away from all the other sad demons around them. Building a house by himself was hard, but not impossible. And because he had been there for so many years, improvements just kept being made on what he now called home.

More memories started to swirl in his head, the screams of his dinner from the night before and how happy he was that his mother had taught him so many delicious recipes before she had departed. It helped him out a lot- she had in mind a son who would cook for his beautiful wife, instead he was a son who cooked the wives and included them in his recipes… Of course, his victims weren’t all female, no no no, that would be wrong of him. It was of course anyone who decided to wander near wherever he was!

Picking up the burlap sack that rested in his basement, the man made his way back outside and towards the edge of the water. Parts he didn’t want. Parts that would keep the creatures happy for free food was good enough for them and kept the idea of him out of their minds- as if they could even attempt such a feat. Still, he didn’t want to hurt the creatures.

Watching the alligators fight over the food was entertaining, a feeding frenzy was always something. These never lasted long though, and sadly he would have to turn his attention elsewhere. All of his daily chores had been done the moment he had woken up, so that wouldn’t cure the boredom that soon hit him. A sigh would leave his lips as the man grabbed his radio and made his way towards the woods for a walk and a tune to go along.

One of the things Alastor did enjoy about being a feared demon, a cryptid almost, of the woods, was the fact that no one seemed to stroll through often. Sure, there were a few airheads or brave soldiers that passed from time to time, and regularly got eaten by him, but other than that these were his woods. Silent. Relaxing. Perfect. There was no royal drama. There were no noisy neighbors. Just him and the local critters.

Sadly, this vacation that he thought of as everlasting, didn’t last.

Ears perked at the noises nearby- gunshots. This piqued his curiosity. Moving so fluidly, if one had seen him, they would have thought the man was floating as he made his way slowly towards the noise. With boredom on the brain, why not check out the gunshots in the area nearby?

The heavy brush started to move before him, a figure moving quickly soon appeared through the bushes, almost crashing against him if both their reflexes hadn’t been agile enough. It was only a second, but Alastor managed to take in the appearance of the other before the demon managed to hide behind him. A tall, slender, feminine looking fellow. He had four arms, two of which now held empty guns. He had a pale skin tone, if one could even call it skin even if the other was covered in fluff, especially his chest. Pastel pink swirled around his outfit, matching the slightly brighter pink freckles that dotted his cheeks. Finally, Alastor turned his head to look over his shoulder at the fellow, noticing the two different eye colors as the demon frantically checked all his pockets- and his chest, for any remaining bullets.

”Can ya give a pal some help?” The demon wheezed.

Alastor raised a brow, curiosity at its maximum capacity as he looked over at the other. “Why should I?” It was a question, but the monotone in his voice gave no suggestion of that.

”Well!” The pastel man breathed “Why the fuck do you think? I’m being chased, you asshat!”

Could Alastors brows get any higher? How amusing was this other, asking for help and insulting him at the same time. Before he had any time to respond, more figures made their way through the thick brush of the forest. Lolling his head to the side to look at the newcomers, the red demon easily put everything together. The humans were here, chasing down a demon with guns- that’s what happens here in Hell. That’s what every poor soul gets for being a demon.

”Why, hello there!” Despite the creepy smile and twisted body that was no pleasure to look at, Alastor made his voice sound as chipper as ever at the group slowly making their way towards him. “Fancy meeting a group of humans in this part of the woods.”

”Before we only had one,” a human whispered to his associates “but now there’s two! They will pay us greatly…”

Greedy. Typical humans. Slowly Alastor made his way towards them, the whispers silencing as the men seemed to fall back slightly at the approaching demon. “Do you know who I am?” The words were sung, but his microphone put on a different tone. The air around the group became sharper, darker, and they almost felt fear stricken at the smiling demon who put off a horrible aura. Static noise encompassed the air as red runes started to glow.

Now, these brave men could easily be a free meal. Alastor could survive on them for weeks if he was careful enough with his ingredients. Yet… That didn’t sound very entertaining. Cornering a single prey and watching them struggle was delightful, it was one on one attention and made for a great show- sure, a group was a completely different scenario, a scenario in which Alastor wasn’t in the mood to play with.

Looming over them, he cracked his grin impossibly wide, laughter echoing out of his chest as he looked down on the humans before him. “You shouldn’t be here. Humans tend to,” A chuckle interrupted his sentence as he leaned closer “disappear around these parts.” The words basically sung. Raising his arm up and with a gloved hand, Alastor let his claws graze the bottom of one of the mens chin, watching the blood ooze from the break in the skin and form together before becoming too heavy for gravity as it dripped to the ground. The last straw. It was almost like the group were gone in a flash, only the sounds of their movements were the remains of their previous presence in the area as they scattered through the woods.

Far too easy. If only he could have played with them a bit more…

”Wow.” Oh, he had almost forgotten about the pastel demon standing behind him. “You don’t have any weapons on you, only that dumb lookin’ radio over there… And they just… Ran.”

Praise was nice from time to time, but the red demon found himself in an odd mood- maybe it was from the storybook he had read earlier; but he found himself not wanting to interact anymore. That clearly wasn’t going to happen. As Alastor started to walk away, the spider behind him started to follow, words flowing from his mouth aimlessly.

”They are out again, The Exterminators. Usually it’s just the threatenin’ demons they go after, the ones who hurt humans… Kinda like ones like you!” Alastor rolled his eyes at the remark. This was why he lived in the middle of nowhere. “But humans see a demon and know they could probably get a price on em’. It only happens once a year too when The Exterminators come around, so I wouldn’t be so surprised if those prices for “threatenin’” demons were high.”

Alastor couldn’t help but pay half a mind of attention to the others' words. He was genuinely curious as to what was going on earlier. He had heard of The Exterminators before, back when he was little he remembered his mother hiding in his room with him during this time of year… However, that was no longer the case. They never looked in the woods, only towards the demons who lived near the humans. Plus, if any human did want to try and get rid of him by selling him to The Exterminators, he was far too powerful, and things would most likely not end up well for the said human…

”Well, this place is a shitshow. Who the fuck would live here?” The nasally voice interrupted his thoughts as the two approached his home. “It smells like someone ate a cheap burrito and took a bad crap the next day. What the hell is wrong with people? Who goes “yeah this is a nice enough place” then builds a garbage home against a big tree and calls it a day?”

”According to your standards, you seem like someone who would live here, based on your smell.” Alastor replied with a sigh, walking closer and inserting the key to his door. “Insult my lovely abode again and you will be in the swamp water for a feeding frenzy.”

There was silence for only a second, it seemed that the other did not care about the threat at all. Passing by, the man sprawled himself out on the open couch and looked up at Alastor. “My name is Angel Dust… Well, technically it’s not. It’s Anthony. However, when you’re havin’ sex, Anthony isn’t exactly what you want to be hear moaned when you’re a hooker. Call me Angel.”

The red demon wasn’t exactly pleased by the other making himself at home, laying on his nice clean couch like he owned the place. He didn’t even want to have a conversation with the other. “Alastor.”

Angel hummed in response, picking at the lint that lay upon the couch. “Not a bad place. Your taste is a bit odd, but I can figure out how to make myself comfortable. Thanks for letting me stay here, daddy~”

Alastor stared hard at the other… Why was he calling him dad? He wasn’t his father… No. That wasn’t even his first problem to deal with! “I never said anything remotely close to that. I want you out of my house and away from my property. If you don’t you will die.” The only response he got in return was a bored stare. It was like Angel Dust had been through a situation like this many times before. “Do you even know who I am?” Alastors words were irritated, fingers twitching with the anticipation to kill the other.

There was a pause as the pastel spider stared, eyes squinting as he watched the other hover above him. “A hermit?”

Alastor took in a deep breath, anger arising within his gut. “I am the radio demon, killer of humans and demons alike. Cannibal, your flesh could easily become mine with the twitch of a finger and the last thing you will ever hear is the deafening static.”

There were a few blinks from the other, processing the words slowly. “Kinky. That’s pretty cool though. Guess I will be safe with you then.”

The boiling annoyance was going over the brim. There was no control over Alastors next actions as shadows emerged from every nook and cranny of his house. The spider before him glanced around in panic before the darkness encased him and lifted him up. With other shadows opening up his door, the annoying demon was thrown and the following was the loud noise of a slam and screams soon after. He could hear Angel screaming outside, banging on his door begging him to be let in, not wanting to sleep outside again.

All of his pleas fell on deaf ears. After ignoring him for a while, he noticed Angel found himself Alastors chair outside and got comfortable on it for the rest of the afternoon.

The radio demon, after calming down from the interaction, decided to get on with his day. Cleaning the house, making sure to wipe the couch off after the ingrate decided to lay on it, and other household tasks he could do to keep busy for the afternoon. Dinner would take a while and the darkness was falling upon them, so the man decided it was time for that. In his fridge, Alastor found the meat he had cleaned from the other day and started preparing himself some jambalaya, a meal he found most relaxing and was one of his favorites from childhood. He definitely needed it after a day like today due to a sleazy demon like that.

It took time, but he was glad it did. Ever since preparing it, Alastor couldn’t wait to devour it. Waiting almost impatiently like a child while the food cooked. He could then grab himself some and sit at the table, enjoying an awaited meal. His troubles were almost washed away by the flavors, a sigh escaping him every now and then as he sipped on his wine. It was then he had almost forgotten about Angel Dust outside- that was until he heard the annoying voice once again.

What was once a sigh of relaxation soon became a sigh of annoyance. The red haired demon stood up, bumping his table in the process and almost knocking his glass over which would have led to a horrible stain in the tablecloth- something he wasn’t even worried about at the time though. Shoes marched across his floor, arm gripping the door knob and almost ripping the wood off the wall as he swung his door open. “I don’t even want you around here! So why did you bring a friend here too?” His raised voice demanded.

It was then he noticed, all the camp fires surrounding his home. The woods were lit up like fireflies, figures flickered with their lights as all their bodies turned towards him. A plethora of demons seemed to now be living in his front yard, and if Alastor guessed right, which he usually did, they were most likely in his backyard as well… “Hey! I didn’t invite them!” Angel complained, standing up from his seat and heading over to Alastor. His hands rested upon his chest, squeezing at the fluff anxiously. “They all just appeared here and one of em’ sparked up a conversation with me! Is that so bad?”

”Yes.” Alastor basically growled behind his smiling teeth. “Why are they here? Get off of my property!” Shadows and static started to surround him as he stared at all the lost demons around him. This day just kept getting worse and worse!

”Hey hey calm down!” Angel sighed, turning away and tilting his fingers at a girl, basically summoning her over. “I was talkin’ to this girl, Rosie. She’s got all the hot gossip you know? She was just explainin’ to me what was goin’ on before you busted your way through all hot an’ bothered.”

The radio demon could care less for Angels comments, he only wanted the actual information as he stared down at the two. “Speak then.”

The woman was taller, a demon that radiated power and could clearly handle herself if she had wanted to. There was a dead look in her eyes- a black void that lead to no soul. Alastor could relate to her already. Lifting up her cigarette holder, the woman gave a long, deep breath before speaking. The smoke leaking out of her body as she let a grin remain on her lips. "Many of these demons, like myself, went to Lord Seviathan von Eldritch to seek shelter of some kind. These are his lands after all. He was a bit preoccupied it seemed, shooed us off and some men gave me a map leading to an open swamp. Apparently this land is owned by Seviathan now. Isn't that just peachy?" The void of her eyes narrowed happily at him, taking another breath from her cigarette.

”Extremely.'' The remark was made slowly in return as his gaze made its way back to Angel Dust.

”I’m guessin’ The Exterminators were going to kill em’, most of these demons were probably about ta get sold and killed.” The pastel demon sighed, looking down slightly before reaching a hand up to fix his hair a bit. “So they went ta this Seviathan dude to refuge an’ he kicked em’ out.”

”I guess I will just have to… Have a little talk with this Seviathan fellow.” Alastor hummed in return. “Deary.” Red eyes made their way back to the scarily proper demon. “Do tell me where this Lord lives so I may have a little chat with him, hm?”

He listened to the other powerful demon as she spoke, rolling his eyes casually every now and then as she gave off details that really did not matter to him. He was furious at this man, whoever he was. He had no right to drop hundreds of demons off on his property and he sure as hell was going to fight for his land back. He never showed this though, Alastors face was plastered with his usual smile as he nodded to the darling, daring woman that stood before him. “Thank you, dear.” He said as he held out a hand to shake her own. giving a firm squeeze while the two were at it.

”I will be off then!” he announced to the crowd. “Do not go into my house or else I will kill you and eat you myself.” The threat was casual as Alastor made his way into the woods, demons cowering at his feet as if debating going to this home was the better idea than giving themselves to The Exterminators.

With his radio in hand, he was ready to confront the Lord in any way he had to so that these demons would be off his back and he could start living his peaceful life once again.

A peaceful trip to get his peaceful life back… Until the footsteps behind him became louder. If he swore, he would.

“Hey don’t forget about me.” Angel sang, moving in front of Alastor with a shit-eating grin. “I’m taggin’ along too.”

”Why?” The word almost sounded desperate and **sad** out of his mouth, annoyance tingling through it as well. He could kill the demon along the way, but he couldn’t help but find all of his frustrated focus on the Lord he was headed towards.

”Well with the amount of demons there, I wouldn’t be surprised if The Exterminators invaded the large crowd and I highly doubt any of them could help me fight em’ off.” A couple of shrugs bounced off his pair of shoulders as he sashayed by and decided to take the lead, rambling on about whatever was currently on his mind.

This was going to be a long and tedious trip, wasn’t it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do hope you all liked it! This was so much fun to write and I'm excited to write chapter 2!
> 
> If you don't know, I am writing another fic at the moment that is currently on hiatus called Her Addicting Euphoria, so if you like charlastor you should check that out as well! Right now it's priority number one for me! This will update though, I am loving writing it so far.
> 
> 9-11-2020 edit- I took Niffty out and replaced her with Rosie, I have other plans for our darling Niffty for later!


	2. The Deal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, I'm writing this and another fic primarily right now so my focus is split (as well as writing outlines for other fics)
> 
> I also decided to rewatch as much Shrek content as I could and tried to write a few lines down so if they sound familiar, that's why.
> 
> Also thank you for all the kudos so far omg! Only chapter one (and now chapter two) are out and I was not expecting that!

He was younger, but Seviathan happily took the title of Lord that his parents had offered him as soon as he could. It made his sister furious, that he was able to have more power than she most likely ever could! Boney fingers moved to pat the top of his head, letting loose strands of hair fall back in place with the almost hardened gel that kept everything steady.

Today was a good day, the demons the day before had all come and asked for a place to stay so they could be safe, he got money from the profits of the ‘bad’ demons he came across, and one of them who he had sitting behind the iron door in front of him could give him valuable information! With a sharp grin that stretched ear to ear, the boy pushed the metal gates open and let it slam against the stone wall.

”Your balls finally drop, big boy?” Crude laughter followed as the girl ahead mocked him. She was against the wall, hanging by her arms as her large, one large bruised-up eye beamed over at him. “Took you all night to come and see me, I was starting to think you would never come and visit after you set up this kinky little sex dungeon.”

The man scoffed, eyes rolling as he approached the girl. “Cherri, was it?” She simply stuck her tongue out in return. “You need to behave yourself. A man such as I would never stoop so low to ever make coitus with a disgusting demon.”

The green haired man watched her with his grin remaining, taking in all of her movements. Her shoulders tensed as he had gotten closer, a deep, pig-like breath was taken through her nose. If he had only thought just a bit quicker, Seviathan would have realised this was an action his sister took often when they were misbehaved children in their past. Spit from the bomb of a demoness flew through the air and landed on his cheek. The Lords eyes grew wide at her motion before raising a gloved hand and trying his best to wipe the yolk-like mucus off his face. “Disgusting beast!” The man cried, slapping the girl hard across the face.

Laughter only left Cherri in bursts It was crazed, like she had heard the funniest joke in the world and it was about a murder and death. This action made him back off slightly, but he had to remember his mission! This had to be done! The thin man made his way closer to the girl once more, not scared of her snot rockets at the moment for the information was needed.

”Tell me where Sir Pentious is.”

A singular laugh left her. “What?”

”Sir Pentious. Where is he?”

”First you care about demons,” he watched as her hands rolled in the cuffs that held her, pointing in different directions with every word. “Then you get your guards and some spooky man in a mask to threaten and beat me up. And now you’re asking me to find you a specific demon? Is this why you took me when we came for your aid? What kind of fucked up Lord are you?”

”You butt heads with him the most! Everyone in all the land knows this! Tell me the information I need and you can be let go. If not! Then torture will be the only action I will be able to take.” He had her! Freedom or torture? An obvious option! Why would she even fight it if she were enemies with Sir Pentious anyways?

“He’s probably off gallivanting in the woods somewhere with his eggboys.” Her words were only spoken with a shrug and blow of her breath, brushing the air out of her eye as the smell of alcohol left her lips.

”Obviously he’s out in the woods!” Seviathan exclaimed, starting to get very stressed out with the other. “Where in the woods is he?”

”Why do you care?”

”Because!” it felt like an explosion, fingers gripping against her wrists as he shoved his body against her own so she hit the wall hard behind her. “He and his little friends are much more helpful and powerful than you’d think. If you don’t know that, then you clearly don’t know enough and aren’t helpful to me! The dungeon for life sounds appetising to me, don’t you think?”

Leaning away slowly was a mistake. Cherri was much quicker than he was and he was sure it was because of her demonic abilities, not because he had slower reflexes because anyone who thought that was wrong! Working her stomach muscles, the girl managed to swing her legs up over his shoulders and wrap her thighs around his neck, calves pinned against his back. With her legs crossed, she could squeeze him easily with her thighs. Seviathan found himself in an awkward situation, and a deadly one. His face rested right at her crotch, and any movement he made wouldn’t stop the strong grip she seemed to have on him.

”You said freedom or torture. The dungeon was not part of the deal.” Every breath she took made her muscles move, sometimes it gave him a bit more of an airflow and sometimes it made everything a lot more difficult. “Who knew you would die between a woman's thighs. I always knew you gave off big bottom energy but I never knew you would follow through with it until your last breath. Enjoy the view because it’s as close as you’ll ever get to a woman's lower half.” She must have known that if she did this, she would just get killed, right? She would never follow through! The guards would come in and murder her on sight for this kind of treasom, she was risking so much for the simple threat of jail for life!

”Seviathan!” A woman's voice scolded. The two listened as heels clicked against the stone floor, echoing throughout the large room.

”Uh-oh!” Cherri teased, giving him one last hard squeeze. “Your moms caught us! You should have locked the door before getting kinky, Sevi!”

The girl who was half hair let go, watching him stumble a few steps back before almost ramming into his mother. Seviathan watched as his father cascaded down the stairs behind her. “Honestly, Seviathan. You’re getting a wife so soon, do you really have to stoop so low?”

Only a few words could babble out of his mouth before his mother held up a hand to him. That was that, he guessed. “Why have you graced me with your presence today, father, mother.” The green haired boy nodded to the both of them, straightening out his collar for the wild girl behind him had wrinkled it greatly.

”As mentioned. You’re getting a wife soon. Have you picked out who?” There was no joy in his mother's words, as per usual. She never expressed such a thing, even if this topic was about his wedding day which one would usually consider a grand and exciting occasion.

”Yes, I believe I have.” Seviathan nodded, moving across the floor and reaching a hand out to the castle staff. Out came a painted picture of a raven-haired girl with squinted eyes. She did not seem very impressed that her picture was being taken, in fact it looked as if she just wanted to leave the situation all together. “This is Princess Octavia. She is a bit young, but within a year she will be eligible to marry.” There was a pause, a second to let this seep in for his parents. A choice he made by himself, something he was proud of for he had scouted her out on his own before marriage was something that could even be brought up by his family. “She isn’t very political, but marrying a princess like herself could make me king! And if she doesn’t want to be included, then she doesn’t have to be!”

”Disgusting!” The voice behind him spoke up- the aggrivating demoness that Cherri was- was now swinging from side to side as she listened in on the conversation. “I cannot believe you’d be willing to pick out a seventeen year old and wait for her to become of age just to marry her!”

Seviatahn decided it was in his best interest to ignore the girls’ words and only focus on his family and their own reactions. The demon knew nothing about royal marriages, she didn’t know what had to be done for power.

”You tried.” His mother sighed, waving her wrist in disapproval.

The Lord was in shock, staring at his mother for a second or two before glancing at his father. “We already made plans for you. This is far better than some lowly princess you found who isn’t even of age to marry yet.”

He could only stare at his parents in shock. The laughter of Cherri echoed as she continued on watching the family drama that went down before her. “Then… What is it? Who… Is it?”

With a sly grin, his mother moved forward and took the painting out of his hand and replaced it with a new one. A tall, slender girl stood there, an apple in her hand as she stared dreamily off in the distance. She had pale skin, besides the bright blush that lined her cheeks. Her hair was golden and bobbed at her neck. “This is Princess Charlotte of Hell.” Seviathan blinked a couple of times, glancing between the picture and his parents. “You know, Hell, basically the entire world. You and her are of marrying age, someone just has to retrieve her for you.”

”She is a bit of an airhead, so says the source we have.” His father remarked. “I hear she had big dreams for the demons, and that is why her father had to lock her away in some tower surrounded by lava and beast that kills almost anyone who approaches. She needs discipline! By the time she’s out, I bet she will have learned her lesson.” The man chuckled, holding onto his stomach and leaning back as he did so.

Princess of Hell… That would someday make him… King of Hell. The girls information must have been hidden away. In all of his research, he had never seen such a beautiful bride like the maiden before him. If she was hidden away, it was clear her parents had other plans for her! Another man could quickly take his chances away so he would have to act fast. “I will get the guards together, it’s time to retrieve my wife.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

After a very… Very… **Very** long walk to Lord Seviathans palace, Alastor couldn’t help but feel extremely relieved. It wasn’t even that far away from where he lived, but Angel couldn’t help but give out his whole life story along the way. About how he worked for some powerful, well-known fellow in the actual kingdom of Hell. How he had hated his job and was lucky enough to get out of it by coming to this place even if the Lord seemed like an ass. It was too much. Alastor really didn’t care but it was the only source of entertainment during their walk so it wasn’t like he could ignore the other or just block him out. The demon was so loud he couldn’t even just listen to the sounds of nature either…

But they were at their destination now. Angel Dust could leave and Alastor could get on with his life as it were before- something he found himself craving already after a night with the spider demon beside him.

”Wow. Large place.” Angel put his hands on his hips… Well the best he could with four of his hands sticking out at the moment. “You think he’s compensating for something?” His words were spoken with a laugh before glancing over at Alastor for some sort of reaction.

A blank stare was all he had gotten in return though, Alastor tilting his head as he let his smile widen just a little bit more. “I do not get what you mean, my good sir. What exactly would he be compensating for?”

The smile that was once resting on Angels lips dropped quickly, a sigh leaving him as all arms crossed and he started moving forward. “It’s not a funny joke if I have to explain it to you. _Satan_ , why are you always like this, Al? At least laugh at one of my dick jokes you ass.”

Like many of Angels other words, these were simply ignored by the other as he continued on to his destination. Before them were two guards who looked very small while standing in front of a large castle gateway arch- the stones that it was made of were almost as tall as the men! “How many more of you **stupid** demons do we have to talk to today?” One with a gun yelled as the other prepared his spear for any close quarters combat. “Lord Sevithan decreed that you were all asked to move to the swamp lands and away from the humans! So leave now or be sold to The Exterminators.”

With a chuckle, Alastor decided to continue forward. “Now now, my good fellows. I am here for the swamp lands, yes, but not for the reasons you speak of. I need to talk to your… Lord… And set up a deal with him.” Oh how he **loved** deals. A power he didn’t flash as often as he had used to in his younger years, but the demon was able to make life binding contracts if he so needed to. This came to use when he was terrorizing in his youth, but honestly he had just wanted to settle down and live a calming life after feeling as if he had gotten enough revenge…

”Yeah, not happening buddy.” The other guard spat. “No demons allowed.”

”I’m afraid you won’t have a choice in the matter.” With a flick of the wrist, their weapons had been seized by shadows. The two didn’t even have a chance to figure out what had just happened before finding Alastor and his copy of a shadow looming in their personal bubbles.

”Heck yeah!” The spider demon, who Alastor had almost forgotten was there, called out as he grabbed the now free gun and held it towards the two humans.

”Angel.” Alastor scolded. “We are not here to harm these two men. They are just doing their jobs.”

”Awe! But your shadow friend is bullyin’ that one!” Two hands lifted with index fingers pointed to his right.

Glancing over, what the other said was indeed true! His sharp toothed void of a self had the man flipped where he stood, grinning like a maniac as he did so. “But he does not have a gun like you! Now,” his attention now returned to the man before him “where can I find this Seven-fellow or whatever his name is.”

”Just head right through! Go straight and you will see a large set of doors, go through them and you will find the Lord!”

”Well now wasn’t that easy!” The deer demon sang, letting his hands give a small jazzy motion and the shadows doing the same, tossing the humans aside so they could scramble and flee. “Now come along, Angel. You will be able to use those guns of yours all in good time.”

He heard the other give off a slight huff, clearly putting his weapons away as the two started their embark into the town-like castle. It must have been some sort of inner ring, or a place to show off how _nice_ this Lord was to his people. Putting on a mask of happiness and joy while kicking the bad stuff away so that more people would want to live under his reign, Alastor guessed.

Raising a finger, the man decided to wiggle it along with the tune that was eerily playing throughout the place. It wasn’t jazz but it would do- he couldn’t always use his microphone, didn’t want to tire the poor fellow out.

”Ew.” Angel had the courage to comment. “You actually like this elevator garbage?”

”Sure! Why not?” He gave the other a cheeky grin. “Not my fault you have no taste.”

With a roll of his eyes, Angel decided to focus on something other than the same notes playing over and over again like they were in some horror movie waiting for disaster to strike. Instead he chose to walk along the corners, glancing through window to window at the items that were on display. “Hey! This outfits kinda cute! Maybe we should come back here some time! Window shop a little ya know?”

”I do not plan on going anywhere else with you after this.”

The other ignored him as he continued to point out items through the glass. “Or I could just steal it… No one is around anyways!”

He did have a point. Alastor had questioned this the moment that they had stepped foot into the large, open area. It was beautiful, a fountain, many shops with expensive items. Everything was cleaned- but there were no people about. He was expecting to walk in and have a frenzy of people screaming at the sight of the two of them, calling the guards which would have gained them quick access into the castle portion of the town and into the area with the Lord.

That was clearly not the case though. All that could be heard was the elevator-like music and… Wait… Was that a faint noise? Fluffy ears flickered slightly, doing their best to listen in on whatever was making the small sounds- hard to hear over Angel window shopping… The closer they walked towards the overly large doors that had no reason for being so tall, the closer the noise got.

The pace picked up, the man making his way towards the dramatically sized doors that was holding what sounded like loud cheers from behind it. “How the hell are we going to open those?” Angel mumbled, head tilted towards the sky as they got closer towards the gateway.

”Like this!” On queue, the creatures of darkness that lived within his shadows followed the simple orders, pushing on the thick wood that kept them away from the cheering. It ended up being simple, with a very loud bang that could make anyone flinch, their entryway was cleared and Alastor continued on.

An arena rested ahead, over a hundred soldiers with their physical weapons drawn and ready to battle stood in formation. Everyone, even the crowd of what looked like thousands of humans, were cheering upwards. “I thought this was a welcomin’ committee for us.” Angel pouted as he started to strut his way towards the opening. “Instead their attention is completely away! Now doesn’t that suck. I’m all dolled up for nothin’ then.”

”Pay attention you boob.”

”...Did you really just call me a b-”

”Hello my glorious people!” A voice called from above. It seemed that it was who everyone expected and it didn’t take Alastor long to figure out it was who he was looking for as well. “As you all have known, I’m at the age to marry-” at that, a ton of girls in the crowed squealed, making the deer demon cringe. The human standing above may have looked handsome and suave, but Alastor could tell a snake when he saw one. Seviathan stood there, his hair was green and slicked back and a grin on his face that knew just how much power he had. “and so I have found myself a wife. I have gathered you all here today, as well as my loving family,” three more figures followed in behind him, all with almost greying hair. “so that we may figure out who will be saving my princess.”

With the crowd cheering some more, the man had to raise his hands and gesture for his people to stop- even though he looked as if he were basking in it happily. “Whoever wins this brawl will go to the castle where the princess resides. A beautiful woman who is guarded by a fierce monster and surrounded by lava! Some of you may die, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

Alastor almost couldn't believe how much the people were feeding into this. They cheered like crazy and so did the guards who were going to risk their lives for this joke of a human! With a roll of his eyes, the radio demon decided it was time to take a step forward. With Angel in toe, the two entered the cave of the real beast.

A scrawny looking guard who was in the back started to scream as soon as he saw the two. “T-The cannibal! It’s the Radio Demon! Everyone run!” Someone had heard of him- how pleasing.

There was a simultaneous gasp. The sea of guards parted for the two of them, some of the soldiers almost tripping over their own feet as they scattered out of the way.

”Sir,” Alastor cupped his mouth, with this action, he sounded louder and basically broadcasted his words as if everyone in the arena had their own personal radio box beside them. “I would like to talk to you.”

Seviathan furrowed his brows, peering down at the two of them before leaning back with a look of distaste. “Disgusting.”

”Well that’s not very nice,” Alastor gestured his hand towards Angel “he’s just a sex addicted cake eater.”

”Yeah you bet I am!” The spider beside him replied proudly.

A couple seconds of silence had passed as it felt that Alastor and this Lord were having a staring contest. One could feel the electricity in the air; if one was paying attention enough, it would send shivers down their spine. After a little longer of staring at the red heads bone chilling grin, Seviathan sneered before raising his arms. “I have come up with a new idea on who gets chosen to save the princess. Whoever manages to subdue these demons, will have won the honor of saving the maiden _and_ the prize money of handing the two demons over to The Exterminators. These are clearly very violent men.”

”Oh come now, my good fellow.” Alastor chided, watching the men start to surround him and Angel. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his effeminate fellow pull out guns from out of nowhere. “This doesn’t have to go this route, you know. Why don’t we discuss this over a drink?” With a wave of his hand, cheap booze appeared. This didn’t stop the men from enclosing around him, inching closer with every second. “No? How about… A song and dance?” With a snap of his fingers, the world changed to vibrant colors.

With the guards started by the sudden change of reality that they were a part of, the boys took the brief moment to compose themselves and take the available actions that they could. Alastor was almost surprised how quick Angel had adapted, it made him wonder what exactly the other had been through before…

In the corner of his eye he can see the tall pastel spider, laughing like a madman as he jumped over the humans, taking their weapons right out of their hands, kicking them in the head with ease, shooting at their non-vitals (most of the time). It was clear that Angel Dust has an itchy trigger finger, and this was just the medicine he needed for it!

Meanwhile, Alastor was having his own type of party. With his typical grin still plastered on his face, the man bobbed and weaved throughout the crowd of slashing guards. No one could land a single hit, and most of the time just ended up hitting each other. Every now and then he would sweep a man off his feet- literally! Flying through the air! Sometimes with a spin the man was basically dancing with those who happily wanted to kill him. With every tippy tappy step the deer took, a dark void would be left. Some guards found their feet stuck as tentacle-like shadows reached from the voids and wrapped around their legs.

Sure, this would have been entertaining to begin with, but something else egged the demon on. Ever since the first second, it was clear that the two men were going to win this battle. With that, came an entertained crowd. Sure, they were there for Lord Seviathan, and Alastor figured they had to be there for any sort of announcement; but they were also there for the outbreak of violence that would come along with it! It was obvious that they were told to bring their bravest of men, that a fight would happen, so this may not have been the outcome they expected, but they sure as hell were happy to watch nonetheless!

The cheers of the people. Something Alastor had never heard before- well at least towards him. It was what his soul craved in moments like these! Being flashy was all that mattered!

He would dip his enemies! Spin them faster than any man could spin another in a dance! Tap his heart out for the guards just could not lay a hand on him! It was about the flare! Angels blasting bullets and trails of smoke just added on to the aura of the stadium and the people loved it! Oh to be an entertainer that wasn’t just about **death**. How fun.

Glancing over his shoulder, he saw Angel Dust and his clone of a shadowy self pushing over what seemed to be a small guard tower with an armed man. Oh the poor fools who stood under it!

**”Enough!”**

The world snapped back to it’s dull colors, the microphone that was loudly playing some fitting tunes now stood silent besides the dull noise of radio static that it now emitted. Alastors head creaked upwards, looking at the green, angry fellow who glared down at the two of them. “Well.” He spoke up, wiping down his vest that was now covered in dust and fairly wrinkled from his many movements. “Is it time we are able to talk, Lord Sevan?”

A girl with waves of bouncing silver hair leaned over the thick stone railing, wiggling her fingers at the two demons below. She was obviously young, unlike the story of what her hair told. It was hard to tell who was older, her or her brother, but it was clear the two of them were in a very close age range. “It suuucks that we can’t date demons.” The girl purred “It would be so nice to have such big strong men in the family.” With that, a kiss was blown.

His eyes squinted at the girl, feeling slightly disgusted at her actions as if his clothes needed to be washed now. “Hey fuck off with that bullshit I’m gay!” The demon beside him screamed, throwing a fist towards the air before all hands crossed with a small huff.

”Helsa stop it.” Seviathan hushed his sibling. Although, her words did give him some sort of idea. The man placed his hand on his chin, humming to himself thoughtfully before speaking once more. “Fine, let’s talk this out and make a deal.”

There wasn’t any warning, the radio demon just faded in behind the other giving the whole family a bit of a scare. “Finally. Let’s hear the proposition to get all the demons off my land then.”

”Technically, that oozing mudpit is actually within the province of this land under my jurisdiction. I own it. Not you.” With a smirk, the man moved towards the demon even with his mothers hushed warnings in the background to be careful and to not get any closer.

”Oh? Well isn’t that interesting.” To think of it, that was true. Alastor did just find the spot of land in the middle of nowhere and decided to plant his feet and make a home- but who else would want to live in that type of area anyways? “Well then tell me, Lord Something, what is it that can be done so that I can own the property _and_ get the demons off my land?”

Seviathan held a harshed smile, clear that the motion was starting to take a toll on his muscles but wouldn’t back down to the demon. “Well considering you two are wonderfully expendable-” the man started, giving a slow blink to the slowly getting bored demon “I’ve decided since you won the competition fair and square, that you two will be the ones to go and rescue princess Charlotte for me! A small task, really.”

From what he heard, it didn't sound like much of a small task. Castle surrounded by lava defended by a killer demon? It didn’t sound too difficult, just annoying and time consuming. He could happily and easily just kill Seviathan and his family now, but he didn’t want to draw the attention of The Exterminators. Plus… Alastor wasn’t one to pass up a good deal. “So I get my land back and every demon who was there gets moved somewhere else?”

”Of course. Your disgusting mud pit will be all yours again.”

”Then we have a deal?” The radio demon cooed, holding out his hand that flared green, making almost the whole stadium have a backlight of lime.

Quickly, and without wanting to listen to his parents advice, the green haired human grabbed onto the demons palm. Giving the hand a great squeeze in an attempt to show who of the two had more power- but was easily and effortlessly defeated as a blinding light flashed them all.

The next thing they all knew, Alastor was back on the ground, giving a small wave to the family. “What a _man_.” Helsa breathed “Wouldn’t mind a piece of that deer tail if you know what I mean.” The comments were ignored as Alastor started his way out, gesturing for Angel to follow.

”Angel Dust my good fellow, it’s time for a quest.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I draw another picture for this chapter? Drawing last chapters artwork was very fun! It's just time consuming to do.
> 
> I do hope you are all enjoying so far though, even if you already know the plot of Shrek it's still super fun! It's also such a good plot man, beautiful writing, so much credit to the cast and crew of the Shrek franchise including shorts and the musical!
> 
> No I don't know when this will update again and I'm sorry for that! I need to write another chapter for my other fic before writing the next chapter to this one (unless I get too impatient because excitement!)
> 
> 10/6/20 Update- I am having some issues with my gallbladder so I don't know when I will be able to write for this again for I'm just trying to take it easy- I'M SO SORRY!


	3. I Know It's Today

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, medical issues, something tells me I will probably end up saying that with every chapter though- ain't that just the way?
> 
> No art for right now, I plan on drawing some but with all the Christmas gifts I need to get drawn out I don't have time for chapter art currently so I shall upload it later- like always!

”Ha!” A little laughter burst out of the radio demon as he strolled through the land, Angel Dust trailing behind him. The static voice caught the spiders attention, eyes fully focused on the red man before him. “I get it! Ha! Ha! Compensating for something!”

Heels stopped in their tracks, the pastel demon looking over at Alastor with jaw hanging open. What?.. He made that joke forever ago! What the hell is wrong with this guy? It almost made him question why he was tagging along… And then Angel remembered that there was really nothing else for him to do at the moment anyways. Go find some random guy and house hop every day or go on this irregular quest with some crazy ass pimp that frightens the living shit out of everyone- even a lord?.. Well the answer was clear.

Alastor took a deep breath in, the sky was clear, the flowers around him died with every step, and so did the fruits and vegetables as he walked through the farm not caring if it killed the crops for so many of those humans that cheered him on in the stadium not so long ago.

He could hear Angel chomping loudly on something as the other trotted over towards him. Finally by his side, the other offered a hand out that contained a variety of comestibles. Carrots, beets, tomatoes, and of course, a couple of onions; oh how Alastor craved to cook something at this moment.

”So,” the other spoke up “why uh- why are we doin’ dis?”

He looked over at the spider from the corner of his eyes, tilting his head ever so slightly as a hand raised to graze against his chin in thought. A slight hum emitted from his throat as he feigned thinking. “What exactly do you mean by that, my effeminate fellow?”

”Dis!” Angel raised his arms, dropping a few of his snacks while doing so. “Doin’ what dat stuck up lord wants, ya know?” He stared at Alastor for a moment, waiting for the man to reply before carrying on. “You coulda killed em right then an’ there! Him and his _famiglia_.”

”Wouldn’t that be boring?” The man replied as he glanced down at his grinning shadow.

”What?”

”Well, mister Dust-” Alastor grinned his cheshire grin with a crane of his neck. “I would think you of all demons would understand the most. In a way, you’re like me, a cat playing with a mouse. You toy with people, and you know right now you toy with me even though I could kill you at any second- yet you still seem _entertained_.”

Angel stopped in his tracks, hesitating for only a second before rushing in front of Alastor so he could walk backwards, wanting to observe the others face. “An’ what about the uhh… that cute little light show you put on back there?”

”Light show, huh?”

”Ya know!” The rest of the fruits and vegetables fell from his arms as he mumbled an _oops_. “Ya shook dat dirty fishes hand! His stinky gross hand and a green light came up an’ everything went white! I couldn’t see nothin’!”

”Now now Angel.” Alastor chided, wagging a finger at the other as he decided to continue on his way. This would be a long journey, after all. “There is a lot more about me than simply being a murderous demon that lives in a swamp.”

The spider huffed, crossing his lower arms. “Deres a lot ‘bout me you don’t know too.” his words spoken with a mumble.

”Hmm! I bet you had a troubling father! Maybe a rascal of a brother! A gentle sister and a saint of a mother. But we demons live in a callous world and you had to take life head on yourself and ran into some hardships, now running away from the past just trying to survive.” With that, Alastor removed his glasses and wiped them off before continuing on his way.

Angel had almost stopped where he was, staring at the demon before him before straightening up and puffing out his chest. “How da hell did ya know that ya creepshow? Ya read me like a book?”

”Please, Angel, almost all demons live a similar life. It’s not hard to tell knowing with the information you’ve already given- plus I’m sure there’s already some information that you haven’t told me. I’m sure there’s many layers to you I don’t know about just like there are many to me that you don’t know about and will never know about.”

With that, the man stopped, looking around the area. The two had walked quite the distance already, but with the information he was given before they left the castle, it was going to be quite the journey. He didn’t need a map, it was just a general area, maybe a days walk, not much if the two could continue quickly.

”Now I hope you don’t mind. But if you plan on sticking with me, which I really hope you do not, please, no more conversations.”

”Alright alright.” Angel stuck his hands up in defeat as he caught up. “No more talkin’.”

_It was a lie._

It had been a long journey, yes, a day and a half can be quite a long time to walk, but the constant questioning of his private life or the attempts at touching or sexual innuendos that half the time Alastor didn’t even understand got very annoying very quickly. At one point, he just had his little friends zip the others mouth shut- that sadly didn't last long for dinner was soon and he wanted to show off his amazing cooking skills to the random stranger, the praise was too much! He didn’t even feel safe sleeping next to the other, but then again, did he ever get the most peaceful of sleeps?

The two would have to continue on though, sleep or not, they had a goal, and soon he could be home and his own bed with no other demons around and just the silence of the forest. Maybe just a few more hours…

”Ugh! Al! I know you smell like death an’ all, but damn is it gettin’ worse! Take a shower or a bath or somethin’! I think I saw a puddle nearby! We are seein’ a princess for fucks sake I know you don’t care but holy shit you stink!” The spider demon took a few steps back, placing a hand over where his nose would be.

”Oh Angel, if the smell was because of me, **you would already be dead**.” It was then that Alastor placed a hand delicately upon his own chin, sniffing the air. “That smell is brimstone, it means that we are getting close.”

”Oh honey that didn’t come from no stone and I know it.” The words whispered as Angel Dust followed the redhead over the rocky mountain.

The world they lived in sure was a magical one, it was almost as if there were a complete divide in the sky as if they were entering a new world. On one side, blue skies, birds singing, green trees, white clouds. On the other, ashes rained from the heavens, lava swirled from below welcoming any guest to take a dip, and the sky a dull grey that told anyone to turn around and go back to a happier place. The whole area was a warning sign and they were walking right into the trap. Should be fun.

The two look at each other, shoulders bouncing almost in unison as they shrugged. Angel crossed his arms, heading towards the thin rope bridge that connected the two areas of land before them that was clearly falling apart and burning from the lava that bubbled up at it. “Maybe you will start to get a tan with the lack of clothes you’re wearing.” Alastor teased.

”Oh ha ha.” Angel glanced over his shoulder, sticking his tongue out as he continued on. The situation happened quickly, one wrong step on the worst crack and the spider had fallen through! If he wasn’t so agile to grab onto the ropes, he would have fallen completely through!

”Or maybe you’re too skinny!” The radio demon remarked with another laugh.

”Shut up, Al!” Getting to a safer plank, the spider stopped and turned around to look at the deer. “If ya haven’t noticed, this lovely stinky moat is made of molten lava! Dis ain’t a joke an’ neither of us have wings! If we fall we die!”

Red eyes glanced up and down for a moment before brows raised. “Is it?” He watched in joy as Angel bit his lip in frustration, looking as if he were going to blow a fuse. He hadn’t seen the creature act this way yet, maybe the heat was getting to him? Or maybe the idea of death being so close was? Either way he couldn’t help but want to egg it on. With the click of his heel, his shadow wrapped around the rope while he edged closer to Angel. “Well let's shake a leg, Mister Dust. The darling drama queen is waiting.”

”Wait what? Don’t get close to me, Al. This isn’t the time to be puttin’ the stress on the ropes an’ the planks. We are in the middle! Al! Don’t be stupid!”

As the two started to move slowly across the bridge, Alastor picked up his pace and moved closer to Angel. The bridge started suddenly swinging, the ropes started to snap in sections and boards started to break. With the two of them being as close as they were getting to one another the bridge could easily snap and cause the two demons to plummet to their certain doom- yet the thought didn’t seem to bother Alastor one bit at the moment. Chaos seemed to boil in his mind and his little shade seemed to agree.

“Al you’re fuckin’ freaky little demon baby is swingin’ the damn bridge what the fuck!- I’m outta here.” With that, the spider turned on his heel and ran quickly, making his way to the edge of the ledge while taking a few deep breaths. “What the fuck was dat all about?!”

”What was what all about?”

”All of what?”

”The bridge?”

”Oh. We got across it quickly, didn’t we? Hm…”

Alastor continued to walk on, listening to his heels click against the stone while he noticed Angel did not follow along. It was clear the other was standing there in shock. The whole situation that had just happened back there confused the other, anyone could see that. What was it about? Why, entertainment, of course. Or maybe, payback? For what? Maybe for annoying him the whole trip? Or for staying over his house? Who knows. Maybe there was some growing sensation inside of Alastor that wanted to torture the poor fellow but also wanted the other still alive- it was fun!

”Fine fine whateva…” The other mumbled, waving his arms around as he shook the situation away as if trying to leave it in the past. It was over and done with. “So where is this pain in the neck anyways?”

”Inside, waiting for us to rescue her.” There was no hesitation with his reply, starting his journey into the ruins of what most likely was a beautiful castle once upon a time.

With a tsk and a sigh Angel replied “I was talkin’ about da monster…” With a now slouched posture, the taller demon followed after him.

Alastor let his shoulders bounce a couple of times, he wished that he could have caused a bit more havoc or mayhem along the way, but they did need to get back somehow, didn't they? Sure, maybe they could have figured out some other exit, but they would have extra baggage to deal with in a little bit here- speaking of which.

”You should go looking for the princess.” The red head suggested in a not-so suggesting tone. It was more like a demand but said very flatly, like Alastor was already bored of this game and wanted to get it done and over with. “While I go deal with the so-called monster.”

This seemed to take the taller demon by surprise, Angel Dust looking over at him with a shocked and slightly disgruntled expression. “Wait, why do I gatta look for da princess? You know I’m fully capable of fightin’ some monster.” With ease, the demon pulled out one of his Thompson guns and pointed it at the radio demon.

It was received with an amused expression from Alastor who simply rolled his eyes- yet continued to smile through it. “Two things.” A hand was held up along with two digits. “Shut up. Go look for the stairs.”

The spider creature just looked at Alastor even more confused than before. Oh how fun this could have been if they weren’t in this smoldering hot castle that was disgusting and covered in grime. “Why the _fuck_ would I be lookin’ for stairs? An’ you didn’t even answer why I can’t go fight the monster with you? Or why I can’t go fight it instead?”

A hum escaped him as he thought for a moment, tilting his head before looking at the other with a slight nod. “No offense, my effeminate fellow, but this must be a very dangerous demon to be such a killer of humans. It’s a very dramatic situation, do you not see how many dead bodies lay around us? All these humans before us who have tried to rescue her? Plus, I’m not exactly a people person, I think out of the two of us, you would be less likely to scare the poor dear during this rescue mission of ours, don’t you agree?”

He watched as the other pondered over the thoughts, glancing around the room and at the old skulls that lined the walls and the floors before them. At first they weren’t as noticeable. Charred against the stone, or perfectly placed as if they were meant to be there as decorations. It was then that it seemed Angel Dust finally understood, giving a small nod before turning around- quickly whipping his head back around to face Alastor once again. “Why stairs?”

The radio demons hand landed against his face, sliding down his skin as a sigh of air forced its way through his acute teeth. Before speaking, he moved over to one of the dead bodies and started picking apart the armor that lay against it. “She will be in the highest room of the tallest tower.” The words spoken as if everyone should know this information by now.

”Where’d ya learn that?” The others words were light, hummed gently as he asked the question.

He wasn’t expecting that. A delicate response from the other? Maybe he was just genuinely curious about this whole situation and was actually serious about it. “I read it in a book one time…”

There was a pause. Silence hung in the air, radio static and the sounds of bubbling lava were the only things that could be made out if anyone were paying any attention. With that, Alastor decided to go back to cleaning off a piece of random armor as the drug addicted demon burst into laughter. If radio static could be shown, it sure could have been seen running up Alastors spine at the nasally noise Angel produced.

”I didn’t expect you! This scary murderer! To be a fan of fairy tales! An’ look at ya! Becomin’ a knight in shinin’ armor huh?” One of his hands ran to his forehead, fingers gathering through the thick fluff as he started towards the closest steps he could find. “Did you really accept this quest for your land or for the possibility to live a real life fairy tale?” His words continued to erupt with laughter as the spider walked away, off to find the princess who needed saving. “ _Satan, I can’t imagin’ that strawberry pimp eva readin’ a fairy tale that’s full on bullshit._ ” The last words echoed throughout the choradore as Alastor watched the others shadow walk away.

”Pft.” The man blew some hair out of his own eyes, glancing down at his own shadow. “The armor is so my clothes don’t get tainted in any way, that would be disgusting, you know. Why else would I be cleaning them this whole time.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Laughter continued to bubble in his throat as the spider wandered through the broken corridor. It wasn’t hard to _find some stairs_ , they were right next to three steps when Al ordered him to anyways. Who knew though, the smiling mad man in his free time was reading fairy tales about good times while his hobby was murdering strangers- what a fucked up dude! Part of it surprised Angel, meanwhile… Well he had met some pretty fucked up humans and demons already.

What was even better about it though was maybe he was starting to figure the guy out… Not just that, but maybe he was figuring the guy out better than the demon himself.

”Whateva.” The addict gave a sigh and tossed his shoulder as he started to sashay through the broken castle. Honestly, if the place wasn’t smelling like a public fast food bathroom after a long night out and if it weren’t breaking at every step, it wouldn’t be the **worst** place to live.

He continued on, eyes keeping a lookout for whatever stairs he could find. Letting his heels click loudly against the stones as he made his presence known- oh how it would be to be royalty! To be a King! Or a Queen! Either would work! Kind of beautiful castle, kind of beautiful view- oh but the royal demands!

The prostitute found himself draped against the wall dramatically, a sigh loudly leaving his lips as thoughts of the past flooded his mind as eyes rolled in reaction. Pulling himself up, Angel Dust decided to take a few more long, careful footsteps forward. It would be best to continue on before the Strawberry Pimp finished up and caught him and yelled at him for being a slacker or whatever he would call it.

It was then the walk would start to become more dangerous as time continued on, he noticed. It was obvious this area was all meant to be closed off, but it was destroyed now, out in the open, as if it were meant to be outdoors and as if there were meant to be a bridge that most likely used to be just an old corridor in the middle of the grounds that is now just full of lava. The ground below him started to crumble more than before, ledges easily collapsible, and honestly the whole situation just seemed like a gamble. But on the other side of the building was a staircase- a large one. That was where he needed to go, he knew it.

Heavy footsteps made their way closer towards the rocky bridge, kicking stones every now and then as the demon made his way towards what seemed to be a very dangerous situation waiting to happen. The bridge could break under his weight- he was always called fat… 

A loud sigh left his throat as the demon once again let out his inner drama, grasping onto a nearby column as he let his whole body weight lean against it while trying to plan out his next few steps- literally. What was he even doing? There was no booze, no babes, just a cranky, crazy, creepy killer demon and his weird quest. The stairs are right there. Maybe Al would get to them before him, the castle looped towards that way anyways.

Speaking of castles, the place really was a dump. He really didn’t want to live here, thinking about it now. Sure, maybe everyone had some sort of fantasy of being royalty every now and then or once in their life or growing up, but what was he even thinking moments ago during his walk through the halls? Angel was honestly surprised the poor princess never tried to escape the place before, or maybe the monster just never let her. And speaking of monsters, how come he hadn’t heard anything yet? 

The floof that lined his body felt as if it suddenly stood on end- a sensation of feeling watched- maybe Al was back already?

”This ain’t Halloween,” A deep, scratchy voice breathed behind Angel, causing him to inhale slightly before turning his head to look over at the other. “how come there’s a freak in my castle?”

The pastel demon let go of the column, taking a few steps back to take a better look at the demon who definitely was **not** his Strawberry Pimp! The stranger before him took this as a chance to seem larger, noticing that Angel was much taller, spreading out his large, blood red wings that casted a shadow over the other. With a few blinks, it gave little time for Angel to give the other a scan up and down. The strange demon wore very casual clothes, nothing expensive- obvious for a demon- a cloak strown upon his back obviously to avoid getting in the way of the wings. But that wasn’t the thing that caught Angels attention, no no, what caught his attention was the fact that this demon had very… Cat-like features. As menacing as the other tried to look, and as grumpy as he seemed… He looked… Kind of petable.

It only took a second for Angel to compose himself, noticing the only ways to go were the column facing the monster or the breaking bridge. “Listen, snookums, I’d love ta stay an’ chat but I’ve got a job currently booked.”

There wasn’t much thought with it, a turn on his heel and the pastel spider was on his way. Angel started crossing the bridge with no fear on the brain, just the hopes that the other didn’t follow him and that maybe his companion was on the way to deal with the fellow while he continued on with his task so he didn’t have to get an earful later about how he didn’t do what he was told!

”I wouldn’t step there if I were you.” A smug response came from the grumpy, unmoving cat behind him as Angel tried to take one step further.

It wasn’t much of a warning, Angel jumping back just in time as the whole bridge started to collapse before him just from his one indent. He had only taken a few steps away from the other just to become totally screwed! Now he’d have to fight him! _Oh Al!_ He thought to himself _Sorry to steal the kill, buddy!_ With those apologies thought, Angel Dust turned to face the mystery monster standing before him.

It didn’t take long for his foe to start closing in on him, although he wore a puzzled expression as he stared up at Angel Dust. “Like what you see?” It was time to do what he did best it seemed- run his mouth and show himself off. “Because from my point of view, you’re bein’ very forward. Comin’ up behind me, breathin’ down my neck, makin’ sure my ankles don’t get hurt when I step on dangerous ground, comin’ close to me- so kind of ya.”

Even the air around the two of them felt different, once filled with heat from the boiling pit of lava from below now felt as if it were sharp and on guard- on edge yet unsure. The cat before him wore an expression that was clearly hesitant of the situation before him, obviously unprepared for something like this to ever happen when he was hired for something completely different. Angel watched as the other opened his mouth as if ready to reply, but was speechless as he closed it quickly, rolling his eyes as he took another quick step closer.

Angel used this as an opportunity to advance the charm, analysing his opponent, this was certainly not his area of expertise! Lower arms snaked around the monsters thin body, fingers dragging down his spine as the other arched in immediate reaction. “Oh!” the spider demon cooed, reeling back slightly. “It really feels like I’m da cat an you’re da mouse in dis situation, huh baby? Clearly so easy to play with.” He took a deep breath in… Was this… Was this booze? Was this monster drunk? Amber colored eyes grew wide as Angel made his way into the others personal bubble. Yes, Angel Dust may have been the one with his back against the lava, but it was clear the other was the one feeling quite trapped at the moment.

”Get away from me you striped weirdo!” The cat demon demanded, brushing off his arms after he was loose from the awkward grasp he was just in.

A solid push. A nice shove. It almost sent him tumbling over the edge of the broken bridge! “Hey! Watch it! You coulda killed me!”

”That’s the whole point!” a reply was growled, the cat monster now looking more huffy and puffy than he did before.

It was then a sigh escaped Angel, taking his small step closer towards the other once more as he started digging around his person for his arsonal. “Ya know, it’s a real shame I havta off ya. You really are quite the looker- an you smell nice too! Eh, too bad.” With that, his weapon was drawn, the barrel of his gun pressed firmly against the chest of his foe. “If you don’t mind me askin’, what makes ya so dangerous anyways? There’s so many dead bodies around here and yet here the two of us stand, you about to be severely wounded on the ground and me off with the princess. So, what is it with ya?”

The poisonous pout that leaked with shock slowly started to turn from the others face, but not into what the pastel demon had hoped for. Gradually, a smug smirk took over where his frown once was. The guarded body shape that he once held became more of a proud one as the cat stuck out his chest and looked up at the prostitute. With one swoop, his fists flew to his sides, small items leaving his grasp as they went over the edge of the stone bridge and into the lava. Angel squinted and tried his best to see what they were…

”Sleight of hand.”

His heart stopped. His finger pulled the trigger. His ears heard no noise. Angel Dust slowly lifted his gaze, fixing his own eyes on the others before hands dropped his weapon and searched his body for any sort of ammo on his person- but nothing.

The demon stood there. The whole time he had been getting close to the other he had been getting robbed. The whole time Angel had thought he was playing the other… But it was the other way around? This stranger was so awkward and out of his element yet he was still able to pull through? It amazed him, sure, he had met some shifty and crafty demons in his life, but now he really understood why this one was hired for the job.

A squeeze on his chest brought him back to reality, making it a bit hard to breathe for just a second as he processed what was happening next. Within those few seconds of being amazed at the other, he was already tied up? This man worked fast! All Angel could do now was let happen well- happen! Alastor was probably a more powerful demon and if he cared… Hopefully he cared! He would get him out of the situation! Not that he doubted his own abilities, but this man before him was a whole new breed of something else, he sure would have to figure out what really makes him tick before making an escape on his own.

The stranger spread his wings once more, causing Angel to purse his lips. “So you’re not ganna kill me I’m assumin’, at least not right now for some reason? Why?”

”Bait.”

He nodded in return, made sense in a way, if Al cared… Not that the other needed to know. “I see I see. Well, I guess if you’re keepin’ me hostage, what’s your name? An’ where are you takin’ me?”

There was a bit of hesitation as the cat grabbed the rope securely, getting ready for liftoff, but after a second or two he decided to give in. “Husk. And I’m takin’ you back to where I reside so I can capture your little friend too so I can off the both of ya.”

”Oh Husky what a bad boy you are, taking me to your room so quickly and in these ropes too? Didn’t know you’d be into tha- hrk!” With a harsh tug, the two were airborne and over the lava, flying over the castle back towards the center of it. Looking up though, Angel could have sworn he saw Husk roll his eyes and possibly get flustered at the little jab of his, but who knows, maybe it was just the glow of the lava.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

He had many friends he’s made over the years, just not ones that others would usually have- Alastors friends were shadows that did his bidding… Were those technically friends? He considered so! They swarmed the castle as he clanked along, making more noise than he had hoped and than he usually would, but that was the consequence of wearing such a getup wasn’t it? At least his little co-workers were being silent enough, they could help him with the element of surprise if he needed it.

The radio demon had been walking for quite some time now, not crossing paths with anything in particular besides some mice every now and then and the friendly skeleton from the sad, pathetic souls before him that had tried to rescue this girl. Thinking about it… The place seemed bountiful with them. How important was she? How beautiful was she? He didn’t care about what she did with this Lord after, but he knew that if this many men had died, did this horrible human deserve her? What was he using her for? All these questions danced in his mind as he roamed the decaying halls, surprised that the place hadn’t collapsed and she hadn’t run away already from this hell pit.

Speaking of Hell, he wondered how Angel was doing. Considering he hadn’t reached the monster yet, Angel probably did or there wasn’t even a monster to start with… But the bones around them said otherwise. He could only sigh and shrug it off at this point, get the tasks done, continue the search, get this over with so he could go home. That was the goal.

Turning the corner was yet another corridor, but at the end of it something that was a goal but not his own. Quick feet trotted over towards the stairs, glancing up at the long spiral that was coated in many skeletons. Part of him wanted to just turn around, go find Angel and send him up to get her, there was something in his gut just telling him to _not_ interact with her, something he hadn’t felt in a very long time. That would also mean Angel was dealing with whatever was hired to protect this woman, killing all of these soldiers- something dangerous.

Alastor was on his heel, about to turn when he heard something. Something faint yet he could tell it sounded beautiful… “I know it’s today?” he mumbled the words back, almost in a trance as he looked up the stairs once again.

Propping one foot upwards, Alastor pushed himself up and started the trek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm sorry this ended up taking me a while, I was going to start writing it again once my medical issues died down a bit (I'm still experiencing them but it's better now) but then the twitter drama happened and it kind of discouraged me so I kind of started focusing on some CherriSnake fic stuff so now I'm far on that as well that I haven't posted yet because that will be short and I want to post that weekly after it's done.
> 
> I don't know when this will update again, I don't know when my other charlastor fic will update, something tells me this month will be hectic and I plan on getting a job AND starting up college again so my time will be taken up. I will do my best! Thank you all so much!


End file.
